Sunday, August 31, 2008
he has already gone back to the states for bout a week.....ask me if i'm sad???ask me if i'm happy???but all i cn tell is i'm neither sad nor happy becoz to me its a new beginning for me...through all this that i hav been through i learn a lot nt only from him but also from others as well this has taught me to move on....i will not look back n i should nt...becoz there is no regret to whatever i hav give or done to myself n others....my new life shall begin now or rahter it has already begun n i'm enjoyin it very much......i shall make everyday that i live for worth well.....n i shall piss more ppl off.....in a good way of coz....hahahaha
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5:51 PM
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Friday, August 22, 2008
he just left today i'm not quite sure how i feel.....but all i can say is that i gave him my best wishes n hope to see him again if possible....but anyway it doesnt really matter anymore coz i still hav to move on no point being stuck there forever....n i still dont regret meetin him coz it was a great time.....anyway today is the last day of my camp it wasnt so bad in fact it was quite fun with all the activities provided....i especially like the salad n bakin workshop......we bake a black forest cake today n also muffin surprisingly it was kinda nice......too bad the hols r gonna end soon n i will hav to go back to sch eventually... so.......its just all the mixed feelings i hav......haiz!!!!!!
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2:46 AM
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Monday, August 18, 2008
well sch holidays hav already started since sat n i hav sign up for a camp that denise ask me to join.....it's been the 2nd day here at the camp n this is the weirdest camp that i hav attended 1st time in my life with only 2 person.....which i had expected more ppl to turn up....n denise had to ditch me there alone lookin like an egghead for the entire week!!!!darn!!!!anyway the 1st day was basiclly the campus tour of coz....which is the continued with movie making...after that it was some self discovery prog which was quite intersting coz it ask me what is life to me which i hav partically no idea....n its now the 2nd day....we started it with the salad making workshop which i learn how to make n design my own salad of coz.....its crazy coz with the salad meal today i basically had 3 breakfast 2day alone....anyway after that was some photography session which was suppose to be 30min but it ended just 5 min after it started n the lectures basically just ditch us there with ntg to do....so i came up to the library with a friend to surf the net n we are now having our lunch break until 2pm....and denise i'm definitely gonna kill u after u come back from thailand for ditching me there for 1 whole week.....
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10:26 PM
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there is only 3 more days left before he leaves pg to head back to the states....time just fly by so fast that it had already been bout 3 months since the whole thing started...i never regreted meetin him n did whatever we did coz i guess that would be the most memorable thing in my life....coz he taught me a lot....right now all i cn do his giving him my best wishes and see what happens to me later on.....i know i hav to move on but i just hadnt figure out how....which is what i'm tryin to find out after he leave this friday.....life just isnt the same anymore ever since the 1st time i meet him...never been like my oldself since then but i'm still tryin to recover.....anyway we'll see what happens after i wish him goodbye....it really felt nice havin talkin n meetin him...so i'll just wait n see what happens.....might nt be what i expect but i'll have to except whatever that comes after this.....
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10:15 PM
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
i dont know what am i suppose to say but i kinda feel a lil relief but i dont know its just a mixture of feelings i hav in myself...i just message him to bid farewell and we sms for a while n he ask me who i was coz he didnt save my no...at that time i didnt feel disappointed at all bout that in fact i feel kinda relief...i dont know y....maybe its becoz i know that he is leaving and its time to let go....maybe???i dont know...but somehow or other i feel better that way....
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4:28 AM
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Thursday, August 7, 2008
i really dont know whats wrong with me lately... my stupid mood swings thing is gettin to me agian today...it hasnt occur to me 4 a very long time but today i dnt know whats wrong with me i gone all way moody...i dnt knw what its all about but it really is getting to my nerve...i want to get it out but i cnt i'm just so lost....i dnt even knw how i feel at times....sometimes i just screw up when things happen...i really lose myself.....
anyway speech day is this sat and the reharsal is goin fine...its just the mike part where i really have to get use to.....haiz...otherwise things arent goin as normal as i think it would be bcoz i still cnt really get myself together.....
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2:30 AM
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Saturday, August 2, 2008
i really really dont know whats wrong with me....why cnt i forget him????his images keeps coming into my head and it makes me lose my focus.....i dont know why is it so hard.....its really gonna drive me to the edge...i tried every thing i could to forget him but ntg seems to work.....why????
fri n sat was the day when i went for my tournament...while i was there i dnt knw why but i keep hoping that he would be there..why am i hoping for that when i 1 2 forget him???i knw its awkward but the feelin for him just cnt seem to go off...why????someone or anyone pls tell me why????
DAMN IT I REALLY HATE HIM!!!!!!!
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6:37 PM
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